Watch it you lunatic!!

When you’re not freaking out about inhaling gallons of exhaust on China’s roadways, you’re dodging everything with wheels and spitting out phrases like the one above—with a liberal sprinkling of curses thrown in for good measure of course. You’re rickety, outdated road bike can hardly handle looming garbage trucks backing towards you along a busy two-way street or speed demons cruising just inches away from your ankles. It’s all enough to make the causes of road rage on America’s busy highways seem petty.

Now stop seething for a minute, put down your shaking fists and check out these Chinese phrases to use on the road:

• Nǐ yào móu shā a!
   你要谋杀啊！
   You almost killed me!

• Nǐ zài gàn ma?
   你在干吗?
   What are you doing ?

• Nǐ dào dǐ zǒu bù zǒu!
   你到底走不走！
   Move your lazy ass!

• Nǐ yǎnjīng zhǎng zài hòunǎosháo le ba, méi kàn dào hóngdēng le a?
   你眼睛长在后脑勺了吧，没看到红灯了啊?
   Are you blind? That’s a red light! (Literally translated, “Your eyes are on the back of your head! Is that why you didn’t see the red light?”)

• Kuài diǎnr/gǎnjǐn de!
   快点儿/赶紧的！
   LEG IT! (Hurry up!)

• Zhuǎnwān bù dǎ dēng, nǐ huì bù huì kāichē a?
   转弯不打灯, 你会不会开车啊?
   Use your signal light! My god, can you even drive?

• Āi yōu! Nǐ zhuàng dào wǒ le!
   哎呦！你撞到我了！
   Ahh! You ran into me (and you should apologize )!

• Nǐ nì xíng le，zǒu nà biān!
   你逆行了, 走那边！
   You’re going the wrong way. It should be that direction!

•Zhè shì gè zìxíngchēdào!
  这是个自行车道！ 
  This lane is for bicycles only!

• Nǐ bìng pái tíng chē le ！
   你并排停车了！
   You’re double parked!

• Nǐ bǎ chē tíng zài zìxíngchēdào shàng le, kuài yí kāi!
   你把车停在自行车道上了，快移开！
   You’re parked in the bike lane, get out of the way!

• Nǐ dǎng zhù wǒ de lù le! Kuài ràng kāi.
   你挡住我的路了, 快让开。
   You’re in my way! Move!

• Shǎo fèi huà, gǎn kuài zǒu!
   少废话，赶快走！
   Cut the crap, and get out of my way!

• Xíngrén kào yòu xíng!
   行人靠右行！
   Pedestrians should stay on the right side!

•Ràng yī xià, zìxíngchē guò lái le!
   让一下，自行车过来了！ 
   Bike coming through!

• Hēi, nǐ chà diǎn dǎ dào wǒ le!
   嘿，你差点打到我了！
   Hey, you almost just hit me!

• Hēi, zǒu lù kàn zhe diǎn!
    嘿，走路看着点！
    Hey, watch where you’re going!

• Nǎge gōng sī de? Wǒ yào gào nǐ jù zài!
    哪个公司的？我要告你拒载！
    Which company do you belong to? I will report you for refusing passengers! (Meant for taxi drivers who refuse to take you.)

• Chǎo sǐ le, bié cháo wǒ àn lǎbā le!
    吵死了，别朝我按喇叭了！
    Stop honking at me! (Literally, “you’re honking me to death!”)

•Bié zài rénxíngdào shàng kāi chē/qí chē!
   别在人行道上开车/骑车！
   No driving/riding on the sidewalk!

• Nǐ bù néng tíng zài zhèr.
   你不能停在这儿。
   You can’t park here.

• Xiǎo xīn!
    小心！
    Watch out/ Look out!

• Màn diǎn!
   慢点！
   Slow down!

• Zài nǐ zuǒ biān/yòu biān.
   在你左边/右边。
   Coming on your left/right.

• Méi jiàn guò nǐ zhè yàng kāi chē de, nǐ gè mǎlù shāshǒu!
   没见过你这样开车的，你个马路杀手！ 
   I’ve never seen anyone who drives like you, you road killer!