Cultural tips

Etiquette and Customs 5: Traditional Chinese Wedding Ceremony
Marriage

Since ancient times, there has been a saying that the three most delightful moments in one's life are success in the imperial examination, marriage, and the birth of a son. From the Qin (221 BC – 206 BC) to Qing (1644 – 1911) Dynasty, the feudal system dominated over two thousands years. During this period, getting married was far more significant than just finding one's other half. For men, it determined the prosperity and even the future fame of their family, while for women it meant that parents lost the chance of seeing their daughter for a long time. Thus to choose an ideal partner was vital for both the individual and the family.

In feudal society, a marriage would not be arranged by lovers. They were arranged by parents and thus were based on utility. Only after a matchmaker's introduction and consideration by the parents of both parties would marriages be allowed to commence.

Birthday Matching: after knowing a potential brides full name and birthday, parents of sons would ask a fortune teller to predict whether or not there sons would have a happy marriage with the bride in consideration. The Chinese zodiac would definitely be taken into consideration.

Presenting Betrothal Gifts: if the match was predicted to be auspicious, the matchmaker would take gifts to the girl's parents and tell them that the process could continue.

Presenting Wedding Gifts: This was the grandest part of the whole process of engagement. Many gifts were presented again to the girl's family, symbolizing respect and kindness towards the girl's family as well as the capability of providing a good life for the wife to be.

Selecting the Wedding Date: the boy's family would ask the fortune-teller to choose a proper and propitious date by consulting an astrological book.

Wedding Ceremony: the wedding ceremony began with the groom and his party meeting the bride in her home. Prior to wedding day, the bride's dowry would have been sent to the boy's house. The dowry represented her social status and wealth and would be displayed at the boy's house. The most common dowries included scissors representing two butterflies never separating, rulers indicating acres of fields, and vases for peace and wealth.

Before the meeting her future husband, the bride would be helped by a respectable old woman who would tie up her hair with colorful cotton threads. She would wear a red skirt as Chinese believed red foreshadowed delight. When the party arrived, the bride, covered by a red head-kerchief, would cry with her mother to show her reluctance to leave home. She would be led or carried by her elder brother to the sedan where she would then be unveiled to her future husband.

Music and firecrackers would signal the arrival of the sedan. The bride would be led along the red carpet in a festive atmosphere. The bridegroom, also in a red gown, would kowtow three times to worship the heavens, the parents, and his new spouse. Then the new couple would go to their bridal chamber and guests would be treated to a feast. Wine would be poured to the brim of cups but would never be spilled over.

On the night of the wedding day, there was a custom in some places for relatives or friends to banter with the newlyweds. Though this was sometimes, it was a good way for the newly married couple to grow comfortable with each other.